The Ones That I Want

Well I will be buying the cast album after all; Max and Laura are Danny and Sandy. In a rare display of good taste, the American voting public got it right, which just goes to show that if us Theatre Queens ran the world, things would be so much better.

The show kicked off with a reunion of all the contestants reprising their We Go Together number that closed the first live episode. What struck me most about the performance is how fat Jason and Matt got since getting kicked off. Did they spiral into a vegatative depression and spend the last 5 weeks sitting on the couch eating ice cream? They're not going to make it to Broadway with that tactic, unless The Woman In White ever gets revived or Martin Short decided to make Jimminy Glick a father. On the plus side, it was nice to see Chad with his old hairstyle back looking as gorgeous as ever. If Broadway doesn't pan out, he can always model for A&F. Then, in the worst American Idol tradition, we got a boatload of filler including performances by the losers and the final four, montages of the final four, personal video clips, and family interviews. The only interesting part was the lack of significant others in Max and Austin's entourages. It's hard to believe two such gorgeous guys don't have anyone special in their lives. What are the producers trying to hide? I'm sure the audience has guessed, and in this day and age, why can't contestants live their lives openly, especially contestants for a Broadway show? Then we finally got the announcement of the winning Sandy. Channelling Ryan Seacrest at his annoying worst, Billy announced that it was. . . Laura!!!! Good taste won out and Ashley got the bum's rush off the stage. Then it was the guys' turn. Watching their clips, I did feel bad for Austin. He's got the Melrose factor working against him; he's so perfect that he's always going to lose to the underdog who needs the break more, and he's never going to get the star turn he deserves. Sure enough, Max was the winner, and in the most bizarre yet thrilling moment of the night, he and Austin hugged, holding each other very tightly, and as they pulled back, they kept their eyes locked on each other, and oh my god, for one brief second I thought they were going to kiss! They both so had that look like they were going to go there, but Billy stepped in very quickly and yanked Austin back and practically shoved him off the stage. All the past performers then started Summer Nights and then Laura and Max showed up to do the leads, and they clicked much better than they did during last week's duets. While I don't like Grease or Kathleen Marshall, I really hope the show is a success for the two of them. We then got introduced to the supporting cast, who all looked older than the movie's cast. They all performed together, and that was that. Time to start planning for next season, and I propose that they seriously consider Carrie, especially if the rumors of a summer London revival turn out to be true (and that would really present a dilemma when I'm there for one night in October; Billy Elliot or Carrie, I don't know how I'd decide). The show would get some momentum and casting it on live TV would be a great opportunity to capitalize on it, plus Betty Buckley could be one of the judges. How fabulous would that be? Then, I've got the perfect gimmick to keep people watching. Every week, the finalists line up on stage in their prom finery, with a bucket balanced on a rafter above each of them. A rope is pulled, all the buckets tip, and blood is poured on the losing two, who, in order for this to be effective, have not been told in advance that they were the losers. How awesome would that be? The thought of Ashley screaming as fake blood gets dumped on her gives me a naughty reaction in my pants, but that's a topic for a different kind of blog. Judging from how the producers made Austin sing first in the final group sing, only seconds after he lost, they obviously have just enough of a mean streak to at least consider this. Now, the bigger question is, until that happens, how am I going to get my weekly theatre fix?